Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dum De Dum Dum>>Dragnet<<

Virginia is in the bullseye for this presidential election so if you want to attend one of the many presidential rallies around this state you better get up early and travel quickly and plan on some real dragnets along the way to the rally. Rally right. Rally left. Rally, rally rally. Rally with Caroline Kennedy at Centerville High School for the dems. Rally with former senator George Allen at Edison High School for the repubs. So the word got out and Dickie and Scott and Jack and Yours Truly headed out for the rally at 6:30 A.M. today. We pointed our car south on #29 and headed down the busy highway.
When we parked our vehicle we encountered roads closed with yellow tape, signs posted and lots of motorcycle policeman. This man smiled into the camera for me.

In the parking lot we also encountered the typical dark unmarked security car of the police.


When we went to get in line we discovered that the line at 6:45 A.M. was stretched four deep all the way around the huge building and the parking lot was filling up very fast. So we ran and got in line too. The site today is expecting at least 10,000 people today.



Dum De Dum Dum>>Dragnet<<
News Flash: I've been pulling your leg, Blog Reader.
Do read on.
Sgt. Joe Friday: This is the city, Haymarket, VA .
I work here. I am a cop.
George Fenneman: This is a true story. The names have not been changed to protect the guilty.
Officer Frank Smith: I came as soon as I got my morning Starbucks.
Sgt. Joe Friday: You could have gotten your coffee in the new grocery store.
Officer Frank Smith: Who is in trouble here?
Sgt. Joe Friday: That would be Dickie and her sidekick, Joann.
We have already determined before you got here that their husbands are innocent, or so it looks from the evidence we have.
Officer Frank Smith: Show me the evidence.
Sgt. Joe Friday: I will but let's go talk to the witnesses first.

Sgt. Joe Friday: All we know are the facts ma'am.
Witnesses: We spotted Joann using her camera in our flower department.
Officer Frank Smith: Show me the photos as evidence of her fired photo shots.

Witnesses: Well, follow this photo stream down. You will see that she covered a lot of the store in a short period of time: flower gallery, pastry shop, bakery, coffee shop, sushi station,and fresh fish bar.
Sgt. Joe Friday: These photos place her at the scene of the crime at the time the crime occurred. And that means she and her sidekick Dickie are guilty of the crime of shooting photos in a Wegman's Grocery Store.
Joann: I plead innocent. Who knew that it was against the law and a crime to take a photo in a Wegmans Grocery Store.
If that's the rule, there should be a sign posted to inform customers of that very thing.
Sgt. Joe Friday: Ma'am, I don't make the rules, I just enforce the rules here with my partner Frank Smith.

Sgt. Joe Friday: Let's run thru the photos now.
Joann and Dickie in unison: uh--ohh!
Officer Frank Smith: Boy, oh, boy. I've never seen anything quite like this.
Sgt. Joe Friday: Yeh, its not everyday that you get to investigate a crime in a grocery store that looks like it was designed by Pottery Barn, developed with the deep pockets of Donald Trump and stocked like Martha Stewart's kitchen and pantry with all the items you might find on display in the home store of Williams-Sonoma.
Dear Blog Reader to really appreciate the remarkable beauty of this Wegmans Grocery Store I suggest you click on some of these photos to see the merchandise up close. For instance the orchid photo or the chocolate bombe photo.

Officer Frank Smith: Wow, gorgeous flowers for the money!

Joann: This is where I got busted. I was taking this shot for Dickie because I know she loves orchids.

Joann: And I fired off this shot to show my Ohio relatives how much you can get per once for cooked soybeans. Amazing.

Another witness: I don't know anything. I just root for Georgetown basketball.

Sgt. Joe Friday: I understand that Joann was spotted looking over the menu at the fresh fish bar?

Officer Frank Smith: Either Dickie or Joann left fingerprints in the cheese aisle

and coffee grounds at the coffee bar.

Sgt. Joe Friday: We will have to check all the used coffee cups for DNA and

check that icing container for residue from icing licks and

and clearly look for more evidence in the chocolate bombe display.
Officer Frank Smith: Chocolate bombes! Quick, call the bomb squad!
Quick, look way down low.
There is a big space here to cover.
????
Dum De Dum Dum!>>Dragnet<<Dragnet, Dragnet!
Yes, this woman is wearing her dragnet hairnet.
She passes the store health regs.

These ladies are designing fruit delights with their latex gloved hands.

Officer Frank Smith: Wow! Sgt, Friday can we take a pastry break?
Sgt. Joe Friday: No, Frank!
Officer Frank Smith: Well, can I just grab a roll to go?
Sgt. Joe Friday: No!
Officer Frank Smith: Wow! Look at the woman slit the French bulls!
Sgt. Joe Friday: Those are not French bulls, Frank. Those are French boules which are yummy round loaves of bread.

Officer Frank Smith: What's going on here, Sarge?
Sgt. Joe Friday: These guys are making all kinds of sushi.
Officer Frank Smith: Is that a car?
Sgt. Joe Friday: No, that's a very traditional Japanese rolled food.
Officer Frank Smith: I understand now.
Officer Frank Smith: Wow, what a food bar. Can we eat lunch now?
Sgt. Joe Friday: No, it is only 9:00 A.M.!

Officer Frank Smith: Where are we headed now, Sarge?
Sgt. Joe Friday: we are going to cruise over to another blog to see more evidence of the crime that was commited here at the grand opening of the Wegmans Grocery Store in Haymarket/Gainesville on November 2, 2008.
Click at the left on Dragonquilter in my blog list.
Look way down low There is a big space here.
????? Sgt. Joe Friday: Wegmans has all the holidays covered: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I'm going to get my Christmas Cards here now.
Officer Frank Smith: Christmas cards, huh? A little late, aren't you?
Sgt. Joe Friday: Well, I was going to send them out Monday, but we had that stakeout.

Note: All writing in red is actual quotes for the fifties TV show Dragnet.
And we hope the folks at Wegmans realize that we are just doing our own version of a Saturday Night Live spoof.
And we just can't wait to return to Wegmans to shop for a trillion differents kinds of everything from soup to nuts to pots and pans to beer and wine.
P.S. The wine guy, Nick, is really really cool. Give him a raise.
P.P.S. He didn't pay us to say that either!





4 comments:

DragonQuilter said...

You and I make a good team. Seems while you were taking pictures I was stocking my basket full of yummy foods! But between us if someone doesn't now want to go try Wegmans, it's their loss!! I also checked out their price comparisons with the other stores in town and they are less in many cases.

fishing guy said...

Joann: you should have saved some of the shots for the My World tomorrow. You sure showed a lot of your world. Very nice.

The Texican said...

Looks like a great place to shop. Pappy

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

Wegman's??
You are uptown now!